Getting upside down
On the 3 Jan 2014 I signed up for YogaCoaching. My babies were just over two months old and I knew that, even though it felt like I had no time, and even though I felt as though I almost couldn't breathe my own air, that I had to do something for myself. I had promised myself and my little boys that I would be the best mother I could be to them. For me that meant making sure I stayed true to who I was. That I continued to follow my passions and that I took care of myself - the body, the breath and the mind. After my first skype with my YogaCoach, Luke , I felt challenged, uncomfortable and like I'd bitten off way more than I could chew. I was kind of excited at the same time. But I had made a promise to my kids and wild hoses couldn't make me break it, so I got out my mat. Between breastfeeding every 3 or 4 hours and two cat napping bubbas who would only sleep for 45 minutes at a time I wondered how I would do it. But Luke had said to start. Just to start. Start somewhere, anywhere. So that's exactly what I did. I started. I managed a grand total of 3 minutes of practice before the babies started crying. But I'd done it.
Fast forward almost one year.
I'm still practicing, the kids are sleeping and I'm feeling physically strong, mentally balanced (most of the time) and I can breathe my own air. I still have my days where I want to cry. Where I feel defeated by the journey that is motherhood but they are few and far between. And when they happen I come back into alignment faster and faster. I have the most powerful tools in my toolkit. My practice. My movement, my breath and my quite time. My centre and my stillness. Better yet, the kids are becoming a part of it
Today was a special day for me. While it's not all about the asana (physical) practice, it does create the head space to prepare us for the more subtle practices of pranayama (breath work) and meditation. After almost two years of no handstands and no shoulderstands in my practice because of the pregnancy and the recovery, I felt that inner fire, the tapas, the heat I needed to get myself upside down. I prepared myself with a beautiful flowing practice then moved to the wall. I'm not feeling quite strong enough to free-balance again yet. I moved into position and floated up into a handstand. It surprised me. I was there. I hadn't expected it, but there it was. Although it's important not to get too attached to anything in an asana practice, today marks a day where I feel as though I've really moved forward. I have conqured a mountain that seemed too high to sumit. I've got the energy to keep going. To move onto the next mountain and the one after that. There's something very liberating about being upside down. It really gives you a new perspecitve.
